Life just might be a BITCH.
I think that there is an issue with how fucked we are entering this world. We’re forced to live among many we can’t stand and some of those people are related to you. Then you have to worry about the mobs of people who will never know you and either feel nothing for you or hate you anyway.
Unfortunately we become beings who develop feelings. I’m not one in particular who is full of emotion, but should people really cry when a relationship is over? I understand being overwhelmed, but to let yourself fall apart like that is astounding. I’ve never cried over someone, the exception being that someone died. That is to me the only reason you should cry; When you lose something or someone you loved, but when I say lose I mean you’re never getting that back. I see people I’ve had relationships with all the time and I’m fine, because that person is still going to be alive and maybe we’ll get back together, maybe not, but you’re not dead yet so I’m good.
So Friday my brother got arrested for riding the train for free and I don’t want to come off as an asshole, but who the fuck is dumb enough to ride the blue line for free with the knowledge that police check for tickets? You’re a pro if you can ride that train free everyday. There is now a hold on his release because he went A- WOL. So now he has to wait for the military to pick him up and take him to base and sentence him. He’s awesome, right? Don’t let my loose tongue fool you I love my brother, he just makes really dicey moves.
What do any of these things have to do with each other? For starters, much like this blog entry life is at least messy, uber unorganized, and random with a touch of finesse. I just gave you what’s happened in my life in just these passes two weeks, from the death of a loved one, the parting a relationship, and the incarceration of a missed sibling. March is working up to be a month of wonders.
Workin’
I am now legitimately employed (it’s still probationary) and I’m ok with it. I have 2 other side gigs. Side gig 1 is teaching my neighbors kid how to play guitar (she’s so cute, I call her Izzy). Side gig 2 is teaching one of my other neighbor’s grandkid to comprehend math. My actually job is being a fast food slinger.
I have never been more trolled than when I worked the practice register at work today. Any other job I had I was never dealing with money directly, I only dealt with people. However, now I have to do both. I hope I get stuck either cleaning or making fries. These are two jobs that don’t require terribly too much of me.
I like that how on top of all this I will be going to school or at least trying to. All these different ways I’m accumulating income are eating up all of my free time. I barely sleep and it might possibly get worse, but I function on stress, so we’ll see how this goes.
Photoset reblogged from Simply Me* with 122,376 notes
I wouldn’t be surprise if my gf made power point.
Source: cockadoodledooo
When It’s Too Late
Someone in my family that I’ve loved forever was diagnosed with lung cancer late last year. She’d been sick a long time, but she got well enough to go back home. Today, through my mom, I found out that she’s been admitted back into the hospital. Right now I’m just regretting all the times I could have gone to visit her, but didn’t. We all deal with loss or sickness in our own way. The way I deal with it is not seeing the person. She is not the only one I didn’t see, she’s not an isolated incedent. When my mother almost went into a diabetic coma I only saw her once. I always think that someone’s going to get better, but I’m somehow bewildered when they don’t. I hope she pulls through. If she can find the tiniest bit of strength she’s got left to keep moving forward, nothing less and nothing more would make me happier. I know she can do it, I pray she knows too. I love her and I want to show it.
In “Like”… I guess
I don’t have a type which has become more apparent in who I date. I’m still figuring out how to figure you out and I’m almost there, but not quite. I understand that you’re more experienced you’re 7 years older and you wear your maturity like I wear my heart on my sleeve. You’re not the best sport when we fight although the way your nose wrinkles when we argue makes it easier to watch you (so cute). I guess I’m the culprit behind the altercations because I’ll fight you all the way over a debate about anything. That’s my biggest problem, I talk too much, but that’s not something that’ll change with age I’m a social animal and I’ve always been that way.
We lay beside each other and it’s not awkward anymore, like the first time you took me home and I couldn’t find one word to say. It was surprising to you how quiet I was, but you shocked me at how vocal you are when I’m not cutting you off. I guess when I’ve already unraveled every enigma and discovered the conundrum that is you, Love will come. I’m just not ready to part with this fragile heart I’ve been saving for someone like you. For now I can say I really like you, but I’m sure you can clearly see that. Since my words aren’t concise I’d say just look me in the eyes and you can see the words I can’t say just yet.
Well Maybe
A revelation I’ve had in the absence of my sister Amber is that I love her from a distance don’t get me wrong I don’t miss her yet, but I know that maybe it really was her. When she was still here I’d go crazy when I’d spend the day out of the house and come home to find her in the same place I left her. Soooo frustrating. There are other reasons I, my brother, and my father are happy. The first is that no one’s fighting. The second is that it’s quiet all day. The third and best is my room is far cleaner and spacious without an extra body to clutter things up.
Maybe things are better without complications? This is precisely why I should rethink my college schedule. I’m taking 17 units and I have classes all day Tuesdays and Thursdays, however Mondays I only have 2 classes, but there’s a 6 hour gap between them and Wednesday I have one class only. At least I have Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off. The crazy thing is I work better under lung collapsing pressure.
Maybe there’s something to this thing called luck. Is it real or not. My dad calls it blessings not luck I neither agree nor disagree. There are too many things that can go wrong to leave them to chance. If you’re going to take a religious view of things (i.e. My father) then you should remember that there is also that piece that states “God only helps those who help themselves.” So if helping yourself means rehabilitation or drug abuse you getting what you need comes down to you and only you.
Dionysus is Awesome… The god of wine and anarchy. I’m sketching this for my tattoo.
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